Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I can count

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

How could Trump, with his deplorable garbage supporters, manage to win an election?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Is it possible for humans to determine their past life as an animal? Is there a scientific method to prove this?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t buy bullshit

Isn't it a turn on to have sex with a girl in a skirt or in a tight spandex?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why do people hate fat people so much, even people who aren't exactly supermodels themselves? It seems like such a deep, passionate hatred, like they're offended by fat people just existing. Fat people didn't do anything to them, so why hate them?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Has anyone ever read The Holy Bible completely through? If so, what was your overall impression of it?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why do some of those who believe in a god refuse to consider the possibility they could be wrong?

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fakery

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How does Bollywood influence Indian culture?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

James Webb telescope discovers 'a new kind of climate' on Pluto, unlike anything else in our solar system - Live Science

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Mariners set return date for ace Logan Gilbert - The Seattle Times

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

George, Charlotte ,and Louis Are the Royal Family’s Salvation - The Daily Beast

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I read this: "Putin is a brilliant, courageous, ingenious, determined, beloved, and incredible modern leader. He is currently the world’s most effective and strong leader, the best the world has seen in centuries." What do you think about this?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What topics are okay with you in comics and what topics should be totally off the table?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Forget Commander, Clive is the core of my new MTG Final Fantasy standard deck - wargamer.com

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why are Boomers so vehemently opposed to student loan forgiveness?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can read

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I see through liars